I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We got so high we made milksteak
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
