I want to have your abortion
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
