how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
