Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
