Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
