You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
