but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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