guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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