carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Come on in and take your pants off
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