You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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