why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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