I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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