You smell like stripper and shame
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize