girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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