Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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