come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How does one acquire holy water?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
