i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
