Tell her she can't have a vagina
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
