Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize