there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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