People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
