I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
