I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
