What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
