apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
