My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
