people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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