Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
