Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We just shotgunned beers for America
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
