Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
