Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
