Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
