at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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