Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
