Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize