i just google imaged poop.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
