we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
