We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Randomize
