addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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