Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
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