i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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