He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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