if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize