This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
