i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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