I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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