batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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