evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
sex in a hospital.. check
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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