I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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