It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
