Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
