Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I had to cum in my sink.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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