i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
