you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize