Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
