Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize