I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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