either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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