So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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