She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
