Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize