Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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