that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
