This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Boobs are out for the taking
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
